I hate myself and I don’t know why.

I don’t know where to begin but I’m weird, shy, annoying, stupid, ugly, don’t deserve to live. not even pretty enough, I have a disgusting face, I have ugly scars, and no matter what I wear I look ugly still, and my life is horrible, my parents are abusive, I only have one friend and I’m not sure the relationship is staying together, I barely have a life, and the only thing my parents will celebrate is my funeral and probably talk shit about me after I die, but I never had a birthday because my parents never let me, and my parents make fun of me for having no friends and being shy, and no matter how much support I can get I still feel like a dumb ass, I still hate my life and I wish I can end it, but my friend hates suicidal people and think they’re horrible and probably won’t miss me because she hates suicidal people, my parents force religion on me, Jehovah Witnesses community is the worst and made me feel worthless, I know after all the support I still feel this way and I feel so spoiled though so I guess I can add spoiled too and no matter what I do my parents will never love me and they always treat me like a piece of shit if I even die, they wouldn’t care anyway and they’re always talking crap about me for no reason and abusing me, and always gaslight me I still want to end it though.