Sad and Stressed

I wrote a post a while ago about my older son’s birth mother’s pregnancy. Tl;dr she was talking about adoption with us again even though we have a young baby but going back and forth and I’m terrified for this child for a myriad of reasons. Domestic violence, substance use disorder, various other mental health conditions, racism, and just general chaos. We’ve recently resumed direct contact with her and it’s only muddying things further. Due date is looming; I have no idea what’s going to happen to this child.

Meanwhile my baby’s birth mom has stated she no longer wants pictures, updates, or any part of his life whatsoever.

I didn’t think it would be easy, but I didn’t know it would be this hard. I just want their first moms to love my perfect boys as much as I do. They deserve more than they’ve gotten from the world and I wish so badly that they didn’t have to deal with instability or secondary rejection ever.