feeling nauseous about attempting

i was going to attempt yesterday's morning but i ended up delaying because i started panicking when i thought about it too much, for three days im constantly feeling nauseous just about being suicidal, i dont know why i feel this way.

i never had a survival instinct this high, i almost felt peaceful before attempting until i got really close to jumping back in August, for days after that i felt shaky and nauseous about suicide just as i am now. but even after that i had attempts and didn't feel like that again unless i was actually going through with it.

i dont know how to get myself to calm down it physically hurts