I (W18) am struggling what to do in this situation with my situationship (M19)

Okay prepare because this is going to be a long message. for your info I'm a girl and currently 18. So I was dilly dallying on snapchat around December of 2023. and there was this guy I added, lets call him pineapple. We bonded over cars and motorbikes. I was on holiday back at the time and fast forward to march of 2024 where im home again. this is when we really started talking. we were snapping video snaps all the time and I developed a little crush on him which is very rare for me. my first crush as a teen (I was 16 at the time). we had many conversation and he was the one to introduce me to formula 1 as well. we talked back and fourth for a while until he randomly ghosted me. I had no idea why. then going to I'd say July he added me again and we started talking. at this point I bought a PS5 and we would play games and call every night until one night in September he decided to come over to mine. I was so so nervous but he asked me around 7pm and didn't;t come until 1am?!! he was originally just meant to sleep at mine because him and his friends had a night out. I successfully snuck him in and we just watched horror movies that night, he ended up leaving because he was too scared he was going to get caught so he left around 3-4am and I gave him a kiss goodbye, it lasted maybe 3-4 seconds. That was his and my first kiss. Keep in mind when we're "talking" he doesn't like to acknowledge it because he's insanely shy so he doesn't like any of my social media posts at all, we'd maybe send a little TikTok video here and there but nothing too crazy. Then after a week of us hanging out he just ghosted me again. at this point in time I had a MASSIVE crush on him and whenever he wouldn't snap me back for a long period of time I was crash out and have a meltdown. Then around November he added me back on snapchat again, nothing happened then just got ghosted again. At one point throughout these month I asked him why he ghosts me and he just said I was annoying. looking back at it now I was pretty annoying but it's not really something you'd ghost someone after like you should love that part of them but partially the reason I got so annoying is because I would get so nervous. I would ask him how his day is and he would never ask back, it was incredibly one sided. Anyways 2025 comes around it's again with the ghosted and adding back type of thing. Fast forward to July-August 2025, I'm snapping him at this time but I started to see him at the gym and his friends knew of me as they would be starring when I was next to them. Nothing happens until I meet someone else and I started dating him. I unaided him as that's what you do when you get into a relationship but 2 month into dating, lets call this guy rotten banana (because that's what he is lol, he is my ex now), pineapple added me and I decided to say to him to never talk to me again blah blah blah because my ex got really jealous since he knew how much I used to like him (rotten bananan found my love letter I wrote about pineapple) so rotten banana made me block him on all platforms, 6 months later into a terrible and manipulating relationship I break up with rotten banana, FINALLY, and during that relationship I was hurt so many times that I was ready to leave months before I actually broke up with him. So a few days after we officially broke up I add pineapple on snapchat. We snap a little bit and we start really talking, to keep up with the timeline it's April 2026, he invited me to hang out!!! So we hang out on a Friday and because it's my first time talking to him since I turned 18 (he's 19 btw a year a 3 months older then me) we decide to go out drinking. He's also bought a house which is insanely incredible in this economy. He is also completely different then what he used to me but he has kisses people and my friends found a tinder account of him a few months ago. So we talk and whatnot and we're driving to pre's and I meet his friends who were superrrr nice and it was incredibly refreshing because my ex's friends hated me so so much. We end up playing a drinking game but it pretty much took me out. Him and his friends tried to get me to drink water and eat a cupcake but I couldn't so I end up throwing up instead and he said I was in there for a while but at this point it's the most drunk I've EVER been I had no control of myself. And I'm laying on him and confronting him about how he made me feel in the past and he kept saying he's different now and he's incredibly sorry he did that and I'm just confessing all these things. So we end up not going to this club because im insanely drunk and keep throwing up so he orders an uber (we're 50 minutes away from his house) and he end up going back to his. I meet his housemate and his friends and say hi then we go to his room. and now we're both really drunk. and a lot 'I love you' go down and we admit how we were super nervous about meeting each other and how he really liked me. we end up making out and nothing else because we were so drunk and then he's just complimenting me saying how gorgeous I looked and how I got changed into my outfit, it looked so good (which was funny because when I walked out in my outfit he was soooo nonchalant and not even looking at me lol) and we end up falling asleep cuddling the entire night, and when we woke up we were just talking about the night and I stay at his for a bit because I woke up still feeling drunk and I've still got the drunk giggles at 9am in the morning and he's laughing with me but literally nothing after that we just talked and then I left, no kiss or hug goodbye like I understand if you want to keep it casual and I mean I got out of my relationship not long ago that last thing I want to do is go into another one but idk I understand he's very nervous but it gets to a point yk and yes we've talked and stuff after and he said he's going to message me about another hang out but now I think im starting to like like him again like I did before as I'm trying to keep it under the wraps and not be too chaotic about it but it's driving me insane like wtf do I even do HELPPPPP or what could I say idk what are we thinking about the situation??!!