I feel so fucking mad and at my limit

Due to my parents unrelenting begging of me to get my shoulderlenght hair cut I did it here Yesterday, and it looks like fucking shit. Im a closeted trans woman, but my parents kinda know but they also just kinda dont want to accept it and think its a phase. Im 20. The haircut i showed the barber looked good, but before I knew it was almost done and It looked almost nothing like the pic i showed. It is Way shorter than I wanted and I have like no fucking hair at the back of my neck.

I feel so fucking stupid for not stopping the barber and now im stuck with Fuckass masculine shitty blue collage haircut. I feel awful about it. I had SO much more confidence when i had Long hair and now I feel so so so ugly and like every other guy I see.

I fucking hate that I didn’t just stand my Ground and let my hair Stay. Fuck I really need to book an appointment for HRT and let my parents know I wanna live as a woman. But man do I just feel awful and ugly now. It was so so stupid to not tell my barber before that i wanted more hair in the back and now its too late.