how much more can one person take

everything was looking up in my life. i had a rough childhood and got ptsd from being in the hospital so much, i was so excited because i had finally met my husband and was going to be able to move out soon and get away from all the fighting. i was so happy more than i ever have been in my life.

4 months ago, 2 days after my wedding, i got sick with covid. it was 2 weeks of absolute misery. being sick is one of my biggest triggers because i feel "trapped" in my body like i was in the hospital. i was emotionally distraught. then, either covid or some of the medicine i was taking during it, messed up my stomach severely. i feel nauseous every day of my life, i can't eat hardly anything, i can't go anywhere cos i want to be home if i'm not feeling good, i haven't seen my friends in months because i always feel sick and cancel. i've been to several doctors and done so many tests. i'm finally on a medicine for ulcers to see if that could be the cause. i'm so scared of throwing up and feeling nauseous, and now ive had to deal with that every day for my entire marriage.

on top of that, i've been sick 4 times since the initial covid. i just woke up sick again today. im absolutely losing my mind. my stomach hurts so bad. my throat is so sore. i just feel awful. i have a UTI as well. i can't do it anymore. i'm sobbing every day because it feels like my life is over. every day is misery. it doesn't matter how much i pray, it feels like God has turned me out. i started cutting myself again. i don't want to live like this anymore. i don't know how to keep going on