27 M - I live in constant fear of losing my job

I've been working in corporate for 5-7 years now and I've never felt secure in my job. Recently it's started to become exhausting. I spend huge chunks of my day trying to convince myself that everything is okay, but I read meaning into every conversation, every meeting invite or cancellation, the volume of emails I'm receiving.

The hardest part is that I feel disconnected from the work. So it's not necessarily like I WANT to be so overwhelmed that I know I'm secure. I feel like in the past, i've learned that being overwhelmed doesn't come with rewards.

I don't know. I might just be bad at my job or not a very good worker or not a very good person. I don't know. I just really struggle to feel safe ever.