Which electric panel upgrade with we regret less?

So the tax credit just expired, and we finally decided we need AC! Our poor timing aside, our contractor just raised an issue I didn’t expect. We are switching from a gas furnace no AC to a SEER 18 VS heat pump. Apparently this will bring our total home amps to 135, and our circa 1943 panel can only handle 120. So he said we can either get a whole new panel ($5k) or add a load controller ($1.2k) to one of the circuits - probably the EV charger. We are leaning toward the load controller bc it’s cheaper but I wondered if anyone has experience with one of these and can tell me what it’s like to live with one. My understanding is that in a situation where there is too much load when the AC comes on, this device would turn the ev charger off. Doesn’t seem like it comes with any controls, so are we just going to wake up to find the car didn’t charge because the AC came on at night? Are they reliable? Do they cause any unwanted issues for equipment? If we get solar PV in a couple years will we end up getting a new panel anyway?