(36M) close family friend tried to course me into a sexual relationship with him when I turned (20F)

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Let's start at the beginning.....

He was around 19 years old when my family met him. He was looking for work and ended up applying for my dad's construction business. He has worked for the family business ever since and is now currently around his mid 40s. He slowly became a huge part of our family to the point where everyone jokes about him being my parents adopted son. Keep in mind....HE KNEW ME SINCE I WAS A FETUS! I genuinely don't remember my life without him around. He would hang out with my brother and his friend group constantly. When I was little, I was an extremely clingy kid so I was constantly sleeping or hanging on my brother's friends. I genuinely viewed them all as my close brothers even though none of us we're related. There was a point where my dad started yelling at me for being so clingy to them but as a kid, I didn't understand why it was such a big deal to him since none of them ever cared.

Over the year's, I constantly talked to this person as an older brother. I always asked him for advice and help with things. When I started reaching adult age, he would have more mature conversations with me. We ended up being co-workers for my dad's company around this time and we spent a lot of time spilling tea on other people's drama and I genuinely had fun.

One day, (around my 20th birthday) my car's battery ended up dying and my dad asked him to come jump it for me. After he got my car up and running, he asked me to take it on a test drive with him to make sure it was fine. While we we're driving alone in my car, I felt him staring at me the whole time in the corner of my eye. He started saying comments out of nowhere like "I never noticed how pretty of a young woman you became" and told me how attractive and sexy my hair is. I was immediately in shock and had no idea how to respond to this and started to feel wrong. He was 36 during this time.

And then it happened... everything started spiraling out of control. He slowly started texting me more and more, making inappropriate and sexual comments to me. He would strictly text me on Instagram and made sure to set the texts to vanish mode. He would constantly tell me how pretty/sexy I am, sent me pictures of his bulge a few times at work to show me how turned on I made him every time he saw me, said how great it would look to have sex with me and how none of my exs knew how to pleasure me in bed like he could. He also asked to meet up multiple times behind my parents back to have sex and would often beg me to marry him. His explanation was that he couldn't find a woman around his age that he vibed with or even gave him a chance, and that I was the only one who seemed to understand him and had a similar mindset. He RARELY made things physical but a few times he slapped me on my ass when my parents stepped far enough away or when I bent down to grab something.

I had no idea how to respond to all of this. It was hard for me to view him differently for some reason after I grew up feeling like he was a close brother to me. He begged me not to tell any of my family and said that if he lost them, he'd lose everyone in his life he cared about and lose his job. I told him to stop every day and told him I didn't want to be the reason he lost his job and family. This went on for months because I was scared of speaking up and being at fault for ruining his life. I know this sounds crazy, but I was young and confused on how to even feel.

One day, I finally forced myself to tell someone. I texted him telling him that I'm about to tell my (actual) brother and he BLEW UP my phone, freaking tf out, telling me not to go through with it. We were having a family movie night and my brother noticed my phone constantly going off and asked me who the hell it was. I ended up asking to tell him in private and his face was physically disgusted and disturbed by the news. He said that I had to tell my father but I was too scared, so he ended up doing it for me. That night, my dad called him and told him to meet at the office. It's was around 2am. I had assumed he would ultimately get yelled at and fired but to my surprise, he was doing work at my house the very next morning as if nothing happened. He was avoiding talking to anyone that day or even making eye contact. That night, my dad called me into his room to explain what the hell was going on. He told me he wasn't going to fire him and that he just "made a mistake but is still family." My dad also said that "it was my fault for leading him on" And that he wants to "forgive and forget". I genuinely didn't have words. I just stood there and cried. I didn't know why I had to defend myself and why he made himself out to be the victim. My father wouldn't listen and ended up taking his side, blaming me for the whole thing.

TO THIS DAY he is still around. Everyone, including him, acts like nothing even happened. My dad actually got CLOSER to him and they work out together in our home gym every day after work. So I still see him almost EVERY DAY and have been forced to act like everything is fine. I know this is going to sound insane, but part of my brain wanted to just forget and go back to how it used to be. I'm not sure if there is something wrong with my head or some deep rooted trauma that I have to uncover. I feel like I should be way more upset but I'm honestly kinda numb to it. My boyfriend is also concerned and doesn't want me anywhere near him, but I still live with my parents so I really can't do anything about it. As for my brother, he is still disgusted by him and cut him off but he got married and moved out of the state so he isn't around anymore. There's been times where I make jokes to my dad that he's fine with being best friends with a pedo but my dad just gets offended and yells at me if I say anything bad about him.

Am I just mentally fucked in the head? It's like I just don't know how to feel about this entire thing. I might have actual screenshots of his texts somewhere but I'd have to go digging and because he used vanish mode, most of the conversations disappeared without a trace that any of this even happened. What the fuck is my life?

TLDR; 36 male family friend started coming on to me when I turned 20. Said a lot of sexual comments, sent inappropriate pictures and slapped my ass. When I finally came out about it, him and my dad just pointed the blame on me saying I led him on. He still comes around till this day and everyone acts like nothing ever happened.