AITAH for getting up during a meal w my boyfriend to feed my cats

Title: AITA for getting up during a meal to feed my cats, and is this a bigger compatibility issue?

Post: I (F, 27) have been seeing my boyfriend (M, 35)for a few months. Overall, the relationship has had really good moments where I feel emotionally safe and close to him, but when we argue, it escalates badly and becomes quite personal.

A recurring issue is that he can be quite harsh during disagreements (e.g. calling me “a victim,” saying I’m being stupid, etc.), and I feel like he often turns things into judgments about my character rather than just addressing the specific situation. We’ve had arguments about this before.

The most recent issue started over something small but has turned into a potential dealbreaker.

I have two cats (and foster cats occasionally), and they are very important to me. I live alone and they depend on me for care. One evening, my boyfriend and I were eating together, and my cats started hovering around because it was around their feeding time. One of them was clearly trying to get my attention.

I got up mid-meal to feed them. To me, this felt like responding to a need sincf they rely on me, and it only takes a minute.

My boyfriend got upset and said this was rude, unhygienic, and that I was prioritising the cats over him. He left the room and later said that this moment changed how he sees me. He described me as a “pushover” with the cats and said it reflected my priorities.

I apologised for how it impacted his experience and said I wouldn’t do it again during meals, but I didn’t agree that it says something negative about my character. I also tried to explain that caring for my pets is important to me, and that doesn’t mean I don’t care about him.

He then said that if I’m going to “put my cats’ perceived needs ahead of his,” he doesn’t think we should be together, and that this is a dealbreaker for him.

For context: • I’m very attached to my cats and will always want pets in my life • He has previously expressed frustration about things like cat smells, them being in the bedroom, etc. • I feel like when I express my perspective, he sees it as me being defensive or argumentative • I feel misunderstood a lot in these conversations • He says I don’t respect his boundaries, while I feel like mine (e.g. not being insulted or labelled) aren’t respected either

This escalated into a bigger argument where he blocked me, which I’ve previously said is something that really upsets me bc of my very severe abandonment issues caused by trauma. Now I’m questioning everything.

So, AITA for getting up during a meal to feed my cats?