2 day relapse after ten days clean

Hey guys, having a huge problem here. I dont get physical withdrawals when i used 7oh besides the low energy but basically i quit for my health and my problems didn’t go sway so i got super drunk and my drunk mind got me to relapse. I am not worrier about any withdrawals, im just scared i ruined my body permanently. I know i made a post few days ago, but im at the end of my life right now. I dont think my kratom induced boobs will you away, ED, bloated face and stomach. Hair loss has stopped liked i said, but the rest haven’t fixed. The reason i think i ruined it permanently is because on opiates my body wouod be back to normal completely by day ten and would have problems mentally but now i am just stuck. kratom products are the absolute worst drug out there, i think id be more happy on other opiates, and i would never used those again, My clothes do not fit, none of them, i am so light and i am just severely depressed. I am not going to use anymore, and will attempt going to the gym, taking heavy doses of laxatives and staying on a calorie deficit. I thought hair lose was the worst symptom, but Man boobs is probably the holy grail of all symptoms. I dont think theres a worse symptoms than it. My boobs are so big and i dont want to leave my house, hang out with friends, or do anything. I hate my life, i thought being free from opiates after three years of daily usage would make me feel healthier and overall happier but here i am feeling insecure and depressed for first time in my life. I dont have the funds to get surgery as its 5-10k. I will say to those struggling with hair loss or bloated face, kratom 10000% causes it. My face wasn’t fully unbloated but 50% less bloated than on kratom/7oh. I really dont know what to do at this point, its harder staying clean knowing im not going to have any physical withdrawals. I can use 400mg a day and no withdrawal, if My body had went back to normal, i would have ZERO trouble staying clean permanently. I would be the happiest i ever been in my life. I think the 7oh caused some kind of pelvic injurt to my penis as i am having hard flaccid like symptoms and only going up 1/2, rather than full erection. I really dont know what to do, i am only 22, full time college student, but my health is making me loss my potential. I stopped hanging out with a girl because of how much it effected my appearance. This summer i am going to end up staying home all day unless things go back to normal. I am genuinely contemplating on suicide these days. I cant even buy new clothes, because they do not fit. Sorry for the rant, i think i am done with life at this point.