Missing someone who does not exist ( for now)

my parents are going through medical stuff right now and i’m handling most of it. it’s exhausting in a way i didn’t expect. like i’m functioning, getting things done, but mentally i feel all over the place.

and in between all this, i keep getting this feeling like… i miss someone. not a specific person. just someone.

like i wish there was a person i could sit with at the end of the day and just be quiet and not have to hold everything together for a bit.

i notice it in small things. like when i say something in a low voice and no one really hears me. or when i’m in some situation and i feel like i’m not “street smart” enough and i just end up feeling stupid after. those moments hit harder than they should.

and i keep thinking it would be so nice to have someone next to me who just… gets it. someone a little more sorted, a little more grounded. someone who kind of has my back in those moments.

the weird part is i don’t even have a person in mind. it’s just this feeling of missing a presence i’ve never really had.

😂