Pregnant and caught fiance sexting

Advice

Hi everyone,

For background, my fiance (29M) and I(29F) used to work together. I've know of his previous relationships with some coworkers and all of his numerous prior relationships (He's had a lot). I've never minded it before because we've been honest about our past. He would tell me why his relationships failed, sometimes because of infidelity on both ends. He knows of my previous relationships as well but we've never had an issue with our past because he used to be open about it to me, such as telling me so and so messaged him and reassured me and I would do the same. We got engaged last December and have been trying for a baby. We just found out last week that we're pregnant and he was extremely happy and so was I. However, lately, I've been having a weird intuition feeling and saw by chance a couple of messages pop up on his phone. When I confronted him last time, he played it off as his exes hitting him up but they know that we're together so there's nothing to worry about.

However, yesterday I just had a strong urge to check his phone. I ended up seeing many many threads of him sexting random women from his social media on and off at random days and times. One of them is with the ex that he currently works with, as recent as yesterday morning. Another is from one of his other exes that was cheating on her husband with him. They were talking about loving each other and should have chosen each other, yadda yadda. I confronted him about it.

He came clean to me and blocked and deleted all their numbers and social medias, while crying, saying he's sorry and that he hates himself for doing this to me and he always fucks up his relationships when he's happy. He tells me these are meaningless texts to him, he just does it for attention and that it's completely bad habits from him self-sabotaging in relationships. So for my own closure, I had him text his exes back saying he didn't mean anything he said and that it's all a game and he added in that he loved me and needs to focus on me. He told me that he doesn't want to lose me or our baby and that I'm the only one for him and who he wants to be with. He's been telling me that he was going to stop with the messages because he wants to be a good partner and father. He swore to me that nothing physical ever happened with anyone since we got together and it was only sexting.

We've made plans to move forward but I'm still feeling so lost and upset, especially this early on in my pregnancy. He's telling me he'll put boundaries, especially with the ones at work and won't interact with them. And he'll do better to be a better partner and husband. I brought up therapy and he's receptive to going. We both grew up in households where our parents had infidelity issues. I promised myself, I would never hurt my partner in that way. I hurt him when I made a comment about his parents to him but I had to get it off my chest, because I know it bothers him. I just had to ask him why would he want me to live a life that his mom has lived, knowing how much she went through. How do people bounce back from this? I love him so much and I want to make it work especially for our future but I'm so confused and hurt.

Posted May 1, 2026, 5:47 PM UTC

128
Loading comments…