Is Demiromantic the right label for "experiences a desire for deep emotional closeness, with an openness to romance?"

I've been struggling with how close I feel to specific friends in my life. I consider myself gay, and have had a few "straight BFFs" in my life who I felt a very strong emotional bond to. The feeling is like "home" and "safety." It's in some part "childhood best friend" vibes, but something even deeper than that.

I'd think about them constantly and had a very deep care for them. They turned out to be some of my most meaningful and beautiful friendships. The sexual fantasies were there, but they never got in the way of the friendship, and I never pushed anything romantic on them. It was like my brain never really went there because I knew they were straight.

There's a friend in my life now who also feels like that, but our closeness was super confusing and messy for me, and I think it's because it was never really stated or clear where his "energy" was coming from, whether it was romantic or strictly platonic.

I could never really understand the split of platonic v. romantic for me. And what I struggle with is I just crave "special closeness" and whatever form that closeness comes in.

The best way for me to describe it is: my platonic and romantic feelings are smashed together and I can't pull them apart. What I want is closeness. If this person wanted to pursue a mutual romantic relationship, I would take it in a heartbeat, no questions asked. And that speaks to how much I honor the bond and how special the bond is to me. But if a romantic relationship isn't on the table? That's fine. I want to maintain the qualities of this deep emotional bond. I'd still be happy. Even if you're dating someone else I'd still be happy. But I don't want to lose the qualities that make this a deep emotional bond.