I smoked again after 1,5 years

Tuesday I met up with my besfriend, we're both sober since a long time, I have 1 year and 5 months and he's around 2 years

He really insisted that we smoke some cannabis like the old times because he was stressed. I said no we shouldn't and I tried to convience him aswell to not do it but it failed

After I smoked 3 puffs I barely felt anything so I was like fuck it might aswell smoke if I broke my streak

I got very high and tbh the experience was not as expected, the high was very mild even after smoking like half a joint in total. Even after getting so high, I wasn't that "stupid' or fried like I used to be

It was very interesting seeing how because my brain healed I was no longer getting cooked

My friends on the other hand got pretty cooked and they were barely able to speak, meanwhile I was playing monopoly as the bank and did math pretty fast and no mistakes

I even got into an uber home and spoke with the driver for another 5 minutes even after the trip was over , we were speaking about interest rates, housing developments and stuff

Conclusion is: I don't think it was the weed that was fucking me up so much, I think it was the fact that I smoked it 24/7 and I was frying my brain

I'm not afraid of a relapse, I don't even know anyone that sells anymore since I deleted all my plugs from my phone and neither my friend will smoke for another like 6-12 months so we're good

Also, I realized a very very big part of what we call PAWS is tied to the broken sleep schedule. Even 1.5 years later, if I have a chaotic sleep schedule (rn I'm going to sleep at 6-7am and wake up in the afternoon) then I won't be productive at all that day, I'll feel anxious, and all sorts of issues

So it makes sense now how because cannabis destroys our sleep, the very same sleep makes all of the other symptoms even worse

And it's the hardest thing to fix so far in my journey, especially because I don't have a fixed structure. I can skip a lot of uni classes and I only have to go 3/7 days eitherway.