Met the perfect guy but feel empty after meeting

So i met this guy who i’ve known for a few years but we never really spoke much since year 10 (went to a different school). we met through mutuals. anyways i now talk to him quite often and he always used to be like we’re soulmates and whatever. it never really did anything for me because im not into words of affirmations or romantic shit like that i’m more just into cuddling, spending time together, emotional support, deep conversations mixed with funny conversations etc. we agreed that we would just spend time together casually till idk something better happens for us because we’re both bored asf.

anyways i’m also bisexual and i’ve never actually been in a relationship with a woman but for a long time ive been aware that i do want that on a romantic level. i like men and think they’re attractive and whatnot but i simply prefer women. anyways i met him and he was perfect tbh, i didn’t feel self conscious which is a big thing for me as i was in a 2 year relationship and felt really self conscious and would overthink my facial expressions, how i was sitting, what music i liked which was dumb. but anyways point is that’s a big deal bc i felt fine even though he is attractive. he’s also funny and shy which i like and he also is quite mysterious which is something in particular i love when someone makes me curious. anyways he said i was beautiful and we got high and he said i could never look bad when i said i probably look like an idiot (i was laughing hysterically) anyways shit like that used to give me butterflies but now idgaf, i felt nothing. and when i got home, i just felt empty because even tho i had a really fun time, its just not what i want.

also in my 2 year relationship i did feel contained and unhappy towards the end which i think i thought was because of the mental state i was in, had a very hard year. but i realised im just not happy pretending to be something i’m not, sure i like men they’re attractive but romantically it’s just not there. i’m unsure on how to go about my life basically because i’m a muslim and i’ve always said to myself that i won’t get with another woman because of that but i think im at a point where carrying it and doing nothing is a lot. especially when i’m sure and i’ve known for years now. problem is it’s a big sin and it wouldn’t be just a one off relapse into a sin, relationships end up being lifelong when you meet THAT person. not only that is the judgement from SOME muslims. it would be seen as outrageous and honestly it can be dangerous. idk i have no one to ask