Fear of being cancelled

I’ve seen a few other posts like this on the sub and I can relate painfully. One of the worst fears that came from this disorder is an overwhelming fear of being cancelled. I’ve always wanted to be an artist and I’m afraid that unless I can manage to be completely anonymous my past will come back to me and I’ll be ripped to shreds. It doesn’t help that I spent fundamental years online and definitely probably have said shit I shouldn’t have, being an edge-lord and all. I think it’s also a fear that I’ll face a consequence from anyone I’ve wronged even if that wasn’t my intention. Half of me is like I was a mentally unstable kid on the internet and another half of me wishes desperately that someone- anyone in my life cared enough to take my phone away and get me mental help. I feel stuck and I feel like I’ve already given up on any potential dream of creating something. I wish desperately I could just start over with a completely clean slate but I know that’s not possible.