Advice

Hello everyone. I hope you’re all well. I am an aspiring artist wanting to make music and rap. I’ve wanted to make music since I was 14 but never had the courage /confidence.I finally have decided I want to start but I feel it’s already too late as I am 21. I’m very stressed and depressed. Im def above average in off the dome freestyles but I feel like that’s it. I can’t sit down and write music with a pen and pad. I’m angry all the time. I’ve been crashing out a lot recently. I feel like I need to learn to record and produce and sharpen my rhymes and lyricism all at once. I can’t deicide if I want to be more of a catchy vibe cool rapper ( lucki, Sosa, Carti, lil Wayne, Juice, etc) or more of an artist introspective, deep down rapper ( Earl, Mac, J Cole, Dot, Frank Ocean) I really want to make music and find my style and become a rapper but I feel like I I haven’t listened to every rapper or most. I feel like I don’t know what to rap about a lot of the time or why. I feel like I don’t know if there’s a right way to write a song or a wrong way to write a song and what the process is and how it’s done I’m just very frustrated and there’s all these other factors that I haven’t even mentioned and I’m fed up. It’s so much all at once. I genuinely am at the point where I c no meaning to life. I get overwhelmed very easily and have no idea where or how to start. What’s the right way? What’s not? Ugh idk. Thank you to all that read this and even more to all that respond. If no one replies, I understand and have a great day <3