r/AncestryDNA•
Violet03671

DNA results in - will the truth hurt?

Results - DNA Origins

Finally did a DNA test and stuck on how I should proceed.
Part of the reason why I did the test was my daughter, now adult, always doubted mine and my brother's heritage since our father with a darker complexion, didn't look like his "full" siblings with a fairer complexion (my father also has half siblings with different fathers). Yes it was obvious to my brother and I, but we always believed our father just took more of my grandmother's genes and then his Caucasian father and the siblings all kind of look like each other. I always counter-argued that my daughter and her siblings all have different complexions/traits, but they share the same father (my husband and I have many mixed heritages between us). As years passed I decided to be certain once and for all, and as my daughter perceived, my dad's father is not his biological father.
I'm still trying to process my emotions because I was in the middle of researching my paternal side since I don't know much and my grandfather passed when my father was in his teens and we had no photos of him, my grandmother passed when I was about 9y and my father when I was 17y. Most of my father's siblings passed except the 2 youngest siblings, a "full sister" and half sister. I wish I could say they could shed some light but when my brother and I ask every so often about anything, they both separately respond that they don't know much but yes our grandfather is our biological grandfather. I'm not close enough with them to have honest conversations but I know they love us and likewise with them. And quite frankly, I think our family has had too many tragedies, some most recent, to press on a subject that could potentially open more wounds.

But yesterday when I got my results, I noticed that my "full" aunt also did her DNA and has had an Ancestry account for over 10 years and when I clicked on our shared origins-regions, I noticed that she hid a portion of her regions (53% of where her DNA comes from). I texted my half aunt who I talk more occasionally with and I asked her if I could talk to her to discuss what I found out about myself (not what I found out about what full aunt hid) but she has not replied and we just texted each other the day before. This leads me to believe that they are hiding something which I find frustrating because my brother and I asked about this in the past, more recently when I shared that I was doing research, about 2 months ago. My brother specifically asked our half aunt if our grandfather is biological our grandfather, which she said yes he is.
So I called my mother, and I asked if she knew anything (my parents separated when I was 11y) She said she always believed my dad's father was not his biological but raised my dad like a son. He's even on my father's birth certificate (this is was why I was certain he was the biological father). She then mentioned that my grandmother told her she was SA duringn WWII, but I pointed out that that was 10+ before my father was born.
For the sake of those who passed to rest in peace, I don't want to unearth hurts/more hurts but I am a firm believer that even though the truth hurts, we can't move past anything if we keep it hidden and those that want to know should be given the right to know. I just don't know why the secrecy since everybody was young when people passed away.
Any recommendation of how I should move forward? Or thoughts or perspectives?

Posted May 1, 2026, 5:51 PM UTC

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