Dentists who are good with nervous patients, give nitrous for cleanings, on Delta Dental?? plz help a bitch

I am between dentists, haven't been in a couple of years, and yesterday I developed a toothache and now am in dire need of getting a new dentist. Recommendations eagerly sought for gentle dentists in SF.

Backstory: skip if you like. So I had some really horrific experiences with bad dentists at a younger age and emerged traumatized. I went years without seeing a dentist but then found my all time dream dentist. Then unfortunately she, Dr Judy Huey the Goddess of all Teeth, moved to Scottsdale. Years without a dentist again. Tried a dentist who advertised as being for neurotic patients and it was MORE TRAUMATIZING. Eventually found a good practice for us neurotics, with gas for cleanings. Went there for years. But then the dentist sold off his practice to his clumsy niece and retired. The niece is just not working for me. Big, clumsy fingers and reluctant to give nitrous-- even though she charges a fat fee for it on top of what she bills in the ins., so you think the profit margin would keep her interested. Does not have a good bedside manner either and makes me feel guilty about wanting nitrous for cleanings and procedures. So I stopped going to the dentist for years, and now here I am with actual pain in my mouth, and I need to get off my voluptuous ass and find a new dentist, STAT.