Anyone wanna talk?

I'm so tired of it. I can't even remember the last time I was truly happy without some underlying problem. Everything around me feels so cold. "You have people that love, care, and support you." But what does that mean when I can't seem to care for them? When all their supposed love and care is dealt by cold, husked, hand? When I can never fully trust them?

Sometimes I think of my mind, my room and my digital self as one, a sort of bubble, a safe haven. But it's not really a safe haven, is it? It's not really safe is it? I rarely let things out, but when I do it's either thrashed, ignored, or simply unrecognized.

There's one person that I met that seems to give a somewhat warm hand but it doesn't help. It's a tease, a mock of me. I hate it. But yet, it's warm nonetheless. I still can't fully trust them. They stress me out, they confuse me.

Everyone feels like a stranger, not to be trusted. I thought the loneliness had gone countless times, only for it to comeback worse and worse, bringing with it new problems.

But I have friends now, I have a crush, want more does it want from me? Nothing I do seems to truly kill it. It doesn't die, it rests, but doesn't die. When will my mind clear? When will it end? Even when Im happy, I'm not happy enough. I can't even comprehend my life without it. It's like it's part of me. I hate it.