I think I hate my mother

I need help on how to stop feeling like this, every time I see my mom I’m just filled with instant disgust and annoyance. It’s not like she’s a bad mom, she’s great from an outside perspective. She’s never raised her voice at me, hit me, or done anything to make it viable for me to have dislike toward her I just started hating her for no reason at a pretty young age (around the same time my dad passed away), at the time, I was almost distraught over the fact that the wrong parent had died in my opinion. I had always preferred my dad, but I still loved my mom. But now, I don’t feel anything towards her other than annoyance and disgust. I’ve tried to get along with her, and she doesn’t seem to notice I don’t like her, but it’s killing me inside. I feel so guilty but at the same time I don’t exactly care. Any advice is helpful honestly. I just want to have a normal relationship with my mom