I unconsciously think about him a lot.

I've thrown myself into hobbies and doing lots of things to avoid thinking, but it's really hard. I keep thinking about what he's doing and it hurts so much. I loved him so much and now I don't have him. The worst part is that I can't ask my mom for advice because she doesn't know.

If only I hadn't been so stupid, maybe I wouldn't have been groomed and fallen in love with him