This is too long, probably for serious readers only. Not trying to waste anyone’s time!

I (M35) was dating (F33). Things got very intense quick. We talked 8 hours the first day I asked her for number, 7 hours the next, then 8 again. Interest was mutual, conversation would flow with ease, phones didn’t lock, bubbles didn’t stop. We talked about the good and easy along with the bad and hard. It was like love is blind in the pods. Super magical. By the end of the first week there was nothing we didn’t know about each other. Red flags were volunteered, desires in a relationship were broadcasted, and boundaries and standards were established.

The first date it was amazing and went flawlessly. Chemistry was on point, communication was effortless, and desire to interact was growing by the minute, I took her out for her favorite food (Mexican) and we had plans to go see Avatar fire and ash after. Instead she came back to my place to meet my dog and things escalated quickly, one thing led to another and yeah… I’ve been with 3 girls and have had 3 girlfriends prior to this and DO NOT move like this at all, it’s been 10 years since my last relationship. I took maybe one could argue too much time off. I built my life, have a great job, I have my own house paid off no mortgage, drive a sick car (GR86 yuzu edition) and am completely independent. Just looking for the last piece to my puzzle.

Things were going great, almost too good for me to believe. By the second date, I thought she was the one. I ended up surprising her with a MK bag. She loved it, very excited, couldn’t believe it. She’s not materialistic at all and doesn’t spoil herself, that made me want to treat her all the more. She doesn’t value nonsense and that was astounding to me. The second date was just as spectacular building off the first and growing our connection.

Then came Super Bowl weekend (we are both from and live in NE) she stayed over from Thursday-Sunday it was amazing. At this point the physical was only getting better (she has a hard time cumming, but not with me) and the comfort level and safety of my place was already settled (she doesn’t number 2 in the same house as a guy if he’s around and that also changed).

Come Valentine’s Day I got her another big surprise for our date. It was a Disney necklace from the Kay collection. (We are both super Disney nerds lol) one could argue this is Love bombing at this point but it came from a good place in my heart I was so into this woman. She tried to hold back tears and said no guy has ever treated her this well before.

3 days after Valentines Day her life shattered, her mom and husband got a shocking and abrupt divorce, and that’s when things started to fall apart. Her career was picking up, the hospital she does IT analysis for acquired new company’s to manage, she had her final for school coming up, and now she’s managing being the anchor for her mom handling the immediate move and financial aspect of it all…

She stayed with me for a week during the moving process. I was understanding, supportive, and helpful. I did everything I could for her. 

The next week was my 35th birthday (it was very important to me as I considered it my half way through life birthday) I very much so wanted our first memory cemented with a picture. She was extremely against it. At this point she knew I was in love with her, I gave her a house key during the moving process so she could come and go during her stay, and now I was ready to document our first memory.

At hibachi that night, I was pretty drunk. My stupid ass thought it was a great idea to ask the couple sitting next to us to take a picture when she came back to the bathroom. It was a sly and conniving move. Very out of my character and how I would normally act. This was the breaking point.

She didn’t want to hang out after hibachi she went back to her new place with her mom. The next day everything came out that was building up over the last 6 weeks. I’m “too generous” I spoil her and she doesn’t need that she can take care of herself I’m independent! I’m “too passionate” things got intense too quickly. We have different values apparently I’m more “traditional”. Apparently I put her on a “pedestal”. On top of it all… she is still devastated from her last relationship. (It was 4 years and she thought verbatim “she had the rest of her life figured out with this guy” (not engaged though…) she doesn’t want to be at all. But she is. 

I’m devastated. My dog is constantly looking out the window for her. She made plenty of mistakes her self but I never highlighted them. I chose to see the good and celebrate the positive instead of focusing on the bad. In 8 years of dating / boyfriends she’s been cheated on, dealt with a cocaine addict that got infuriated she was pregnant with his seed. She doesn’t have a kid. Then walked out on after 4 years blind sided by being left for someone else… you would think these trivial concerns would be outweighed by all my efforts, energy, and good qualities (trustworty, loyal, kind, compassionate, sincere, honest, warm and soft only for my girl, her favorite - my hilarious analogies, and not to mention I’m considered a “chad” I guess from my big personality and charisma, style and swag, height, and build. But no, It wasn’t enough to combat these minor solvable inconveniences.

She wanted to be friends and stay connected on that level but it was too much for me while still having serious feelings for her. After getting hit with the friend zone and “you’re a great guy” I just mentally collapsed. I’m very close with my mom, I don’t have a father, she seems to think a girl that’s not interested anymore would completely cut everything off and she said herself that she just can’t commit from her fear and past trauma and she’s not ready. But why date in the first place then!? Idk once I heard “friend and great guy” in the same sentence I was like… ight this is a wrap I’m all set with that option. 

Blocked on Snapchat and Spotify (my only social media) NOT blocked on cellular.

Lastly, would be super hyped if I could get some girl input, it would be very valuable to have your perspective on this. Definitely greatly appreciated.

Thanks for the read, sorry it was long. First time post, long time lurker.

Apparently I’m “too generous” and “too passionate”