Am I being gaslit by my boss or am I completely insane?

I’m using my burner account here, and I know this is a lot. I just feel like I need some outside perspective here that isn’t my coworkers.

I started working a year ago for a company where I knew about 70% of the employees prior to starting. It’s a small company and I had either worked with them in the past or my family has (a very large amount of my family fell into the same industry) and I got along great with all of them. I knew my boss prior as well and we had a friendly relationship. This position was a new role for me and I needed a decent amount of training to get where I needed to be at a functional level and the expectation going into this is that I would have this training and help.

In the year since I had been there, we have been getting into arguments at least once a week. Minimum. It usually stems from either being told one thing from him in a meeting and then him going back and saying he never said that or I misunderstood or that I either pushed ahead on a project without his approval (he does not check his teams/emails to me quickly and some things are down to the the hour time sensitive) or I wait to make the next step (because if I push ahead I get yelled at). It’s also been an issue where he says I reveal too much info to the other party, but my job is logistics based and more information is important (and better) than less. And besides that, it gives me peace of mind. This is usually delivered with a lot of yelling and passive aggressiveness and being spoken to very rudely.

I had kept all this information to myself as I did not want to create any office drama. But then people started approaching me and asking if I was okay with how I was being treated. Apparently the office walls are not as thick as we thought and pretty much everyone has heard everything. And it’s not just people in the office too, people are noticing it on calls and are texting me after them saying that he should not be speaking to me like that.

I’ve also noticed he gets like… jealous and hostile when he finds out I’m hanging out with other coworkers without him? Like he caught wind I was going to a girls night with some of the office people and he was upset he didn’t get an invite from me…. for a GIRLS night. And that I need tj open up to him more about my personal life.

We had a sit down to discuss things and I had brought up some points to him: I don’t feel heard out, I feel many of my projects are shot down and cast to the wayside, I feel no matter what I do I am battered with criticism. Expectations are unclear and nothing ever feels worth it. And then it just turned into “You’re taking this all so personally when you’re just here to do a job. You just gotta deal with it.” It then turned into a “I’m trying to guide you to be the best version of yourself and I want to see you succeed” and “You should really go to therapy to help regulate your emotions” so now I’m sitting here wondering AM I going crazy??? Am I taking this too personally???

I don’t know, I feel like I’m losing my mind over this AND losing sleep too. My head is spinning and I don’t know what to do anymore.