Question to see if there is people like me.

One of the reasons why I'm so into transformation is because I don't feel like my insides fit the outsides. I'm 26 and a female and I just recently started putting on male clothes but I don't think I'm a guy, I just wanna turn into one sometimes. But ironically I prefer MTF transformation over FTM. I somehow relate to MTF more even though I'm born a woman. I also like transformations where people turn into animals/furries because I've never felt fully human. I don't like being called a woman or lady either it just feels off. Sometimes I pretend I'm actually a man that was transformed into a woman. I dunno if this is making any sense, but I wanna know if there is people like me. I feel like it makes my dating life harder because no one really knows what I truly feel.