support for chronic suicidality

i hope this doesn’t break any of the rules. i am new to this sub and absolutely desperate for help. i’ve dealt with suicidal ideation on and off since i was 15. i’m 30 now and i feel like time is running out for me. i can’t let myself kill myself. my family would never recover. i also have a cat that’s suuuper mean (i love him dearly tho) and i can’t imagine someone else taking him in- i honestly feel like the past few years he’s been the main thing keeping me around.

anyway, i think what i would really benefit from is some sort of support group for people like me, who can’t seem to shake the feelings of suicidal ideation no matter what (medication has literally never helped with this). even some sort of virtual support group. i know i need to get back into therapy, that’s on my agenda. i just need to talk to people who feel like this too. it’s the only thing i think would help right now. does anyone have any resources? thank you in advance.