How do I get out? I’m ready. I need to do this one right once and for all.

Nearly 6 years together. 4 since we live together. I have always been unhappy in our relationship, so has he. I won’t go into details because I could write a memoir (unless you ask me to). I know he is abusive. Part of me thinks he is normal, but dis functional. Unhealthy dynamics throughout our whole relationship. I don’t really love him. I know part of me does. But I don’t feel loved and this is not what love is/should be like.

I’ve felt proper love. This is not it.

He is not physically abusive. He has been physical with objects around him. But at this point, after 6 years, I think he’s just numb. He’s so deeply unhappy with me, I think he’ll just let me go. But I’m afraid it won’t be civilised. Can’t imagine it will be.
I’ve tried acting on my escape plans and breaking up countless of times. How do I make this right?

I need to confront him. I need to tell him in person I want to be free. And then leave.

But I’m afraid of hurting him. I know I have in the past. I never did anything out of my way to hurt him, I was just being me. Normal, faithful. But it was never enough. Because we were never meant to be together, no matter how much I tried to convince myself.

Please, give me your reassurance. I need to do this right 🙏