I like hearing/seeing other people's incest experiences because I don't have any

I've always been turned on from other people acting on incestuous fantasies as long as I can remember. For myself I've had only dreams and only one close experience. I remember even before I hit puberty I had a dream my sister and cousin (m) were kissing. After puberty, I had a sex dream were I fucked my sister. I didn't like it at time, so I told an adult thinking they could help me fix it but they said it's normal, just don't act on those dreams. I had a few more after that and I never acted on them. That was my sister turned 18. I had several dreams about her that I thought were kind of hot.

There was one time, she ran away from home. Yes she was 18, but she lived with my mom and my mom started to freak out. My mom asked me to look through her messages with her boyfriend at the time. I didn't think anything would happen if I did, but I accidentally saw a pic of my sister's tits that she sent to her boyfriend. At first I was grossed out, but later I couldn't stop thinking about them. However I wanna clarify, I don't want to have sex with her, she's a narcissistic bitch who says slurs to "be funny" and she tried to kill me once. And I don't wanna fuck anyone else in my family. So please don't try to convince me I should.

I still find incest hot though, especially if it's other people. I love reading these stories on here, but sometimes it's not enough. I've had one person send me a video of her getting fucked by her cousin, which was hot as fuck. I do want to at some point join in on someone having incest sex, but realistically I know that won't happen. I wish there was somewhere to look at pics and videos of the real thing but most sites, you can't tell if it's real or they just put incest in the title to get more views. But that's basically my confession.