AITAH for telling Husband he can visit his mother for mother's day but not our toddler?

My almost 2 year old had an ileostomy reversal last month. It went well but the side effects of the surgery is that he has constant bowel movements (every 10-15 mins) and due to the fact that he has never used his bum before in the entire 20 months of life the constant exposure of stool to his skin has cause a SEVERE diaper rash.

Up until a week ago his skin was horrid but I have perfected my system and have managed to clear 99% of his diaper rash. Its mainly just me changing him the moment he goes and changing his diet/ making sure he eats (if he goes more than 2 hours without eating during the day he gets terrible diarrhea which makes rash come back full force)

In-laws want our son to visit for Mother's day at Mil's mother's home because they haven't seen him in over a month. I have reservations because the ride there is long and we will have to pull over multiple times to change him. And more importantly we can't even go to their house because he will NOT eat there at all and never has.

But say he does happen to eat there (again has never happened idk why he won't eat at Mil's house either) we will have to bring all of our supplies and I will basically just have him in room changing him every 10 minutes. Also, sometimes when he goes he screams in pain and i really don't want to deal with my husband's entire family (they celebrate all mothers in the family not just Mil) trying to step in and tell me what to do (we can't ease his pain he just has to pass it). If we go to a restaurant the same problems arise just in a more crowded and louder place

Husband believes son's bowel movements have gotten more steady because his rash is gone and that means we can start going places. That is not the case, they are still erratic, I just stay on top of everything (it can take months or years to steady) I told him he can visit his family alone but I could tell it hurt him. My in-laws believe we can go one day with him having diarrhea because i have gotten a handle on how to treat his skin but I don't want to risk compromising all the progress I've made.

I offered them to come to us (living with my rents for rn) but they won't hear it even though my parents will go to my husband family's homes for joint celebrations (despite our house being bigger and able to accommodate both families unlike any of theirs can) I told them if they really wanted to see our son they would suck it up and come here but no one has responded.