Bfs ex wife

Sigh.

I really wish it was easier to coparent with my bfs (we’ll call him C) ex wife (we will call her N).

She’s a pathological liar and a narcissist so it’s extremely hard. They share a 12 year old daughter who I absolutely adore and I do everything I can to make sure she knows she’s loved by me and she loves me too! I’m very thankful that she’s old enough to decide on her own who she accepts and doesn’t accept (considering the very first time I met her in person she was nervous about me because N was dead set on making her think I was a bad person).

I also have 3 of my own that I share custody with. My ex husband is fantastic and we coparent very well, very healthy dynamic.

N also has 3 other children, who each have different fathers (no judgement, crap happens), but none of them pay child support. Only C does for his daughter. Every time N is in financial distress she comes for us. I also pay some child support to my ex husband (not court ordered but it helps with debt acquired by both of us when we were still married, extra things the kids might want etc.), just to make sure they are good to go and of course if I need something he will help out on his end too.

N and I have known eachother since elementary school, but we weren’t close friends or anything like that. The last time I had spoken to her was maybe 10 years before C and I started dating. On top of that, N had stolen a lot of things from me the last time we saw eachother and we were not on very good terms. That of course broke “girl code” in her eyes so it was rocky from the start. I managed to fix that issue (or so I thought) and we’ve all hung out together, had fun, if she ever needs anything or if her daughter ever needs anything I try my hardest to make sure she has it.

Her daughter stays with us during the summer, the same time my kids are here for longer periods. I usually end up quitting my job so that I can keep an eye on them, take them to go do fun things, and just to make sure they are happy and have a great time. During those months I do not pay cs because…. They are with me lol.

Anyway, things were going smoothly until I saw Cs phone. And basically N is saying that I’m not a good mother because I don’t have my children full time and that I’m taking food out of her daughters mouth. She thinks C is paying my cs even after we’ve told her time and time again he doesn’t. I pay all of my own bills. And of course if we need groceries or household items I help with that too. But N refuses to hear it. She told C “maybe you should stop dating girls who aren’t financially stable”. Now let me add that when she was married to C, he was away on deployment and she cheated on him. She didn’t work, he paid for her schooling etc etc.

I know her words don’t matter, but I’ve always been the type to help and do whatever I can when I can for other people. So it really sucks that she can’t just be civil. C knows how she is and she thrives on drama. He tells me to just ignore her and of course sticks up for me when she says things like that. But UGH. It’s so hard! I understand if her and C have disagreements, but I don’t understand why she always has to add me in to them. I literally don’t do anything to deserve it!

Anyway, end rant lol.