I’m so lost that I don’t see myself continuing life

I lost my father 3 years ago and my parents spoiled me (22 M) because I was kinda an only child since my sister is so much older than me. I was still in college when I lost him and technically still am but haven’t registered for any courses, just suffering mentally day by day.

He was no role model but he did his job as a caregiver quite well. But the bastard killed himself with a terrible diet leading to a surgery he didn’t survive

I have no skills and have lost any resemblance of a routine in my life. Thoughts of death give me a feeling of warmth/comfort as odd as that may sound. Death just feels like a better option than wasting my family’s money/time with my continued existence