Confused

I’m unsure on how to make of this but, I want to know if I’m the only one feeling or experiencing this or if I’m weird or something.
It’s been about a year since I found out about my husband’s addiction and ever since we’ve talked stuff out along with some of the fantasies he has and what makes him have urges. He mentioned something about a 3sum that included me and another woman and him I obviously shut the idea down and it honestly made me spiral out for a bit but once I cooled off and calmed down the idea turned me on😐I’m ashamed because wtf.

The whole situation made me hate porn and even masturbating, but ever since I’ve found myself watching some porn and masturbating to that fantasy. I read somewhere on this subreddit about it being a trauma response but I want to know if there’s more people out there that experience it too and how they dealt with it.