im tired of some things my parents do but still i feel guilty for thinking theyre bad people

so i live away from my parents because i study in adiff city and im the eldest daughter in the fam, and i visit them ofc during breaks, i come home to stay, but genuinely when i come back i feel like ive just come back to a prison cell, they treat me like a child and always tell me to go study when they see me doing something else or keep screaming at me continuously to do anything as if im still a little kid, and i could be doing the simplest thing and they would nag about it or side eye me and tell me im too grown for this or this is not me or i shouldnt be doing this, i can put up with their nagging most of the time because i grew up in this house, it gets messy and weird, and i sometimes think my parents have adhd because of how disorganized their whole house is, it screams adhd, anyhow what im saying is, since i moved out i cant put up with their nagging at all, its like everytime im here i get back into my old bad lifestyle and into my old bad habbits, and im an adult but i still get treated like a kid, and im too afraid to even be myself around them because they comment on anything. I figured powering through and ignoring their comments is the way as well as doing what i want without listening to them but the thing is i get that guilt after, im like but i dont wanna disappoint them, i mean either way they will be always disappointed so fuck it. I just think my parents act so selfish and never consider my feelings, and they don't believe in something called mental health or checking up on your child. At the end they are nice to me but coming home during breaks and noticing how drastically my mental health gets worse tells me otherwise.