My personal take on monogamy: Yes, casual sex (or even prostitution and even teh fully poly relationships in my view) should never be legally prohibited, just socially moderated, or understood to be a fringe alternative and not the assumed norm.

In fact, not only have I had a *few* casual encounters, I have no problem with adult consensual pornography while I or any future partner are single.

I just think that's it, and monogamy exists for a reason. Humans are considered defined differently from the rest of the apes by their anonymous fatherhood causing sexual egalitarianism, the simplest way for that to work logically, is via monogamy. Here is what scite has to say.

Yes, it's AI, but I paid for it for you instead of using Google's much more crappy free AI for what it's worth:

https://archive.ph/Zb8SQ

The "Wikipedia as a source" rule applies to AI as far as I am concerned: don't use Wikipedia or AI as sources, but the sources Wikipedia and AI uses can be used and examined.

But my fellow atheists rejoice, there is science backing this up too.

I have toyed with crazy fantasies of having a third person (potentially of my own gender as a bisexual) not only in the relationship but potentially raising biological children somehow with us. That is compatible with the "gay uncle hypothesis" etc, BUT THAT WAS IN THE PAST AND IS NO MORE.

I used to say (even though it contradicted the above, that's more evidence poly is less desirable if it makes me engage in doublethink like this) I could give my otherwise-monogamous partner a three way once in a while but it would have to be the two of us with a strong bond, with the third person being casual or a "one night stand" to us, because the monogamous-ish "core" was important to me, a long term serious third partner is no good.

But then I realized, that just re-invents all the problems of 2 people having casual sex, diseases, emotional mismanagement, unplanned pregnancies etc, potentially worse because then those problems are impacting two people.

So the only way it could work is with some weird middle of a "third girlfriend/boyfriend but not third husband/wife" and that sounds like either a balancing act that is too much to deal with, or a middle that can be reasonably assumed to not work via the extremes not working.

I still have more to learn about Paul Elam's "Gold Pill" and the idea that romance itself should be rejected, but I will just say: I want the "two way stalker" element of monogamy. I want someone to love me so much they are obsessed with my fingernail clippings, metaphorically speaking of course.

This is fiction, and when it happens in real life it is indeed a sign that something dangerous and abusive is happening in the relationship, but at the same time, try replacing ONE rape fantasy with this fantasy: https://youtu.be/FzR7CxCJ5TQ?t=124 (and imagine it two way, and with whatever genders)

A quick close with advice from an older family member of mine a long time ago who has actually had three+ ways and been "the other guy" to a cheating person in a relationship multiple times: "When there's more than two people, someone usually ends up feeling left out." That's probably the much simpler answer people are likely looking for instead of my paragraphs I always produce, I am ultimately more of a philosopher and not a true writer or orator like that person is, and brevity is the soul of wit.

Finally: Everyone else loves to show a single emotional anecdote instead of statistics, so here's my attempt at that:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Wdsb-inWDzg

And two songs, one for the visitors: https://youtube.com/watch?v=2-ZJsod4XyQ

One for the home team (RevTrads) : https://youtube.com/watch?v=kkxqcWhym9U

Feel free to crtl + a and copy + paste this on any and all social media.

And remember, "marriage can never be a feminist act," but I've just told you I've already bought it, harry. You don't need to sell it to me. https://youtu.be/rPwiHbPVdJE?t=28

Posted May 2, 2026, 4:10 AM UTC