How can I (20m) stop crying when she (23f) hugs me?

So I've never really had physical touch be a major part of my life, my parents really hated it, they're still great, I love them and they love me but they just never really touched me bar like cleaning me as a baby and shit like that. I remember once my room had mold so I had to sleep in my parents room, I saw a movie in school earlier that day where a child snuggles up to their mother and tried to replicate it, she pretty much yelled as me the whole night and that's the last I can really remember ever trying for a hug.

Since then I've had 7 hugs that lasted over 10 seconds(not an exact estimate obviously I'm not hugging with a stopwatch) the last was in 2022, so it's been a while. Just as some context

So it's a fwb type thing, she came to my city for 5 days and we finally managed to lay down together, she started stroking my hair and shit like that, face in boobs, I was loving it right up until she started talking, she kept saying that I was precious and beautiful and sweet and for one reason or another the waterworks started, I tried to pull away but she kept pulling me back and saying it was okay which is sweet, but it's not really helping either of us. Whatever one and done, except no, we get a repeat the next night, which from her perspective must be absolutely infuriating and I'm really not sure why this is, she asked me what was wrong and I just didn't say anything so it probably seems like I'm keeping some kind of crazy secret when really I don't know.

Nights 3 and 4 I pretended to need the loo and I managed to compose myself some more but the same thing happened on night 5, maybe the worst one yet. We had a nice time on the trip, lost my card, went sightseeing and walked around the city, it was good fun, and I have another trip scheduled but either 1) she's well past sick of my shit and is too polite to refuse or 2) isn't sick of it but I'll really be pushing my luck if I go for foursies in her home.

So either I cancel the trip, or something advice on how to stop doing this if anyone's had a similar experience, it's not conscious or anything so it might be hard to give direct advice, but any tips you have would be well appreciated