JM - last name issues for me

Someone else's recent JM post about their own last name situation in a Facebook group I'm in made me realize I am probably going to have a problem with mine, too. I decided to post about mine here instead of there, as I think there are likely more true experts here and my situation is fairly unique. Any help/guidance/wisdom/experience anyone can share will be greatly appreciated! Here's the deal:

My husband is about to file a straightforward 1948 case, and I'm learning Italian and getting all my ducks in a row for filing for JM as soon as he is approved. However, I legally changed my last name (because my biological father sucks) in the Massachusetts probate court system a number of years before he and I got married. Then when I married my husband, I did not initially take his last name because I really liked the one I legally chose for myself, and it has personal meaning for me. To that end, my marriage record states that I would retain my pre-marriage name.

Now comes the sticky part. After about 4 years of marriage and having 2 kids together, I decided it would be easier if we all shared the same last name - so I eventually just started using my husband's, slowly transferring everything (bank accounts, credit cards, Social Security card, driver's license, passport) to my new name because I lived in New York at the time and they allow you to do it that way if you want (as long as you aren't trying to change your birth certificate, which I wasn't).

This leaves me baffled as to my "identity" insofar as JM is concerned... Do keep it simple and just get a new legal name change decree reflecting the switch from my legally chosen last name to my husband's name in the state where I live now, and choke down the idea that it's best to use my birth name when I apply for JM? Or do I do that AND use my previous legal name change decree from MA to finally change my birth name on my birth certificate (so I can use that on my application for JM and be known by that name on any Italian documents)?

I don't want to be known in Italy or anywhere else by the last name I was born with - I went to the length of legally changing it for a reason, after all! But if I do get my own BC changed, I think I will have to get both of my sons' BCs amended too - because we want to attach them to my husband's 1948 case, and my maiden name on their BCs is the one I was born with rather than the one I changed it to. Not the worst thing in the world, but even if I do decide to take the more time consuming/expensive (but more personally acceptable) route, I will still ultimately have to provide the consulate with FBI background checks with my original last name on them in addition to those with my legally chosen name and my married name on them, right? That will surely raise all kinds of questions as well, because that name wouldn't be on any of my records anymore!

I really have no idea what to do here. What is the easiest/cleanest path that would be least likely to result in rejection due to an inability of the consulate to figure out who I truly am? I'm obviously fine with being known by my husband's last name, but the idea of reverting to the name I was born with - anywhere, for any reason - honestly makes my skin crawl. I'll do it if I must in order not to screw this up for my family, but if anyone knows of a way around that for me, I'd love to hear about it. TIA!