I am a woman the same way a platypus is a mammal

Even though i have always felt comfortable presenting as a woman, it feels performative. I do not feel like i belong in any female dominated spaces.

I dread getting my hair done because the women are always so cheerful and loquacious. I am not. And i feel like that makes the workers uncomfortable. I frequently switch stylists because i have yet to find one that i do not feel judged by.

I love makeup, I love iced coffee. I love getting my nails done. I love shopping. Traditionally feminine things. And yet, it feels like there is an obstruction of some kind between me and other women. I don’t get it.