AITAH For Hiding My Chronic Illness From My BF

I (26F) and my boyfriend(28M) have been in a relationship for a year and are planning on moving in together or at least we were.(I am using a throw away account bc I don't want this on my main)

I have a heart condition which I won't go into much detail due to privacy reasons, for context I have had it since I was young, its very manageable but I have my episodes which have sometimes landed me in the hospital.Very few people know about my condition, my family, and best friend are mostly the only ones who know.

My boyfriend doessent know and I have been hiding it for three years

I have known my boyfriend for a while, around three years, we meet in college due to mutual friends and we hit it off instantly.We wanted to date soon after we met but we decided to put it off until we both got our affairs and lives in order(College is hard and our twenties are hard).

The reason why I didn't tell him has nothing to do with him but everything to do with me.He is charming, handsome, protective and a really smart guy, I love him very very much.I have had bad experiences opening up to other people about my condition mostly my ex boyfriend and some toxic friends, at school I was known as the "sick kid".Even with my parents and brothers, my condition has become the center focus of some of my relationships.

He found out this weekend when he came over to my apartment as a surprise since he has come back from a trip earlier, I hard ordered food and was expecting to see the delivery guy when I opened the door, not my smiling boyfriend holding flowers.I froze when my eyes caught his eyes looking past me and to my kitchen counter were I had all of my meds because it was time to take them , I have so many I could open up my own pharmacy.

He came in and questioned me about them and I folded and told him everything, he was deeply hurt, but that hurt quickly turned into a mix of anger and betrayal, he was rightfully angry I kept it a secret for so long as well as worried because it was a safety hazard.He questioned the whole entire relationship and I have never seen him so heart broken.After a heated argument filled with yelling he left to cool off.

I know it was somewhat wrong to not tell him but I didn't want to sour our romance with it, AITA?

Posted May 2, 2026, 4:19 AM UTC

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