i hate myself so much

hi reddit. im a 17 year old female. i have no motivation to do anything in my life. i feel like a failure. im overwhelmed by the thought of studying. there's nothing wrong in my life. i have nice enough family, a roof over my head and more than 3 meals a day and everything i could ask for. but i just feel so empty, i dont have close friends. ive been going to therapy but i haven't noticed a huge difference. i mean how much can i talk about in just 50 fucking minutes. i just hate myself so much, each day i look in the mirror i look uglier and i have this stupid online coaching thing i do and i missed 7 classes and each class i miss it gets more and more overwhelming. i procrastinate so much, it's ruining my life. this is the one year where my marks matter the most, if i don't score well this year, i will ruin my future. i just wish i was alive. i dont have anyone to talk to so i came here to vent. i feel so lost, please give me some advice on how i can become the best version of myself. im done feeling like this