Blindsided

My husband and I have been married for eight years but together for ten, and three weeks ago said that he wanted to separate but I do not. This came out of nowhere, and I feel like I did something wrong even though he has expressed it’s nothing to do with me. He is struggling mentally and I am trying to help him navigate the best I can while also focusing on my own mental health. He is checked out and that is so hard to come back from.

We have separated living spaces as moving out isn’t an option financially. He’s my best friend, and we have been incredibly civil during all of this. We laid out boundaries and have decided intimacy is off the table until we can figure everything out. I’ve been lost for the past three weeks. I’m trying to keep busy, and find joy in hobbies but it’s hard because all I can think about is how I can work on fixing the marriage.

I don’t even know what else to do. I’ve suggested couples therapy, but he doesn’t want that because he thinks there is no fixing all of this. Is there anything we can do to fix all of this?