Lost my father this year

Hi. I’m in my senior year of high school and I lost my father at the beginning of this school year. It feels like I’ve just been riding the year out, and time has only made my grief worse. Everything feels like it’s been a compromise, and I haven’t had a single win this year.

I feel like I was so excited for senior year after the rough 3 years I went through. But it just immediately went down the drain. My biggest issue is just feeling supported. I know my friends are all teenagers as well and don’t know much about losing a parent, some haven’t dealt with a loss in general, but I just feel so isolated. They were nice and around the first 1-2 weeks, but then once I was back in school it just felt like it was everyone for themselves again.

Nobody really ever checks in or asks how I’m doing. I feel like I know I’m not obligated to have people check in on me, but it would be nice you know? And even when I do have the courage to open up on my own, the topic has been changed so quickly so many times that I’m just exhausted, and don’t want to try anymore.

Also, none of them really seem to understand the gravity of my situation and how it’s impacted my life. I had a friend disrespect my situation, and I feel like none of my good friends stood up for me. Idk this isn’t even a well written post but I’m just exhausted.

Overall, I feel like my friends don’t see me/aren’t around at all. I feel like somehow in my senior year when I lose my father I’ve spoken to my friends the least. And nobody understands. I don’t expect them to. I just know I would be doing more to be a good friend to anyone going through this, and I just wish it was reciprocated from someone else. I’m exhausted and just wish I could enjoy what was supposed to be a fun year of high school.