I’m feeling a real shift in life right now and I just want to voice it.

Hi all, I’m feeling an internal shift that feels big, and I just want to connect with others that have experienced something similar for validation to trust it. It may sound silly that I even feel the need to validate this for myself, but I just like knowing that others have potentially experienced something similar. I feel I downplay my own felt understanding of things sometimes, but this time, the shift is feeling so apparent and gentle and sweet that I must share.

I’ve been a “searcher” for many years, late teens to now 28 years old. I have heard throughout my search that we are god, god is always here, call off the search because all you need is within, etc… Well for some reason I am now gently understanding this sentiment within and I wanted to try to explain what I’m experiencing.

I’m feeling a new felt sense, (I call them heart insights), that god is here and always has been here. My mind tried to make sense of this for so long, yet my awareness is now having glimpses of this truth. I am feeling as god is that familiar peace that I have felt all my life, but I never actually attributed it to god, (universe, source, higher self, whatever word). The feeling I felt when I saw sunlight shining through the leaves when I was little, the feeling of the wind wrapping around me, when I hear the birds- these are small examples of moments of peace. I have felt this peace pop up throughout life, in moments of trials and tribulations as well. That almost “bittersweet” feeling that some situations leave you in. Turin points in life. Moments of knowing and intuition. These all have som sort of an essence of realness and peace to them.. grace.

With that being said, I have just recently realized I can connect to that level on awareness whenever I want. Not only that, but this peace is who I am. This realization comes when I get quiet, when I allow life to become still and step away from the trials and tribulations of the everyday. When I step away, even if just for 5 minutes and go inward, I can feel that familiar peace and heightened awareness I have always felt yet had attributed to outward scenarios, simple oh I’m feeling peace and this is nice- no. I am now meeting this peace so much more frequently, and I can see how it has literally always been there, inside of me, waiting for me.. I just had to go inward to truly see it’s never ending existence within myself and life itself.

The more I write about it, the more I see and feel that looking outward for this peace/awake awareness has been like a flame trying to show me that it exists within me- hard to explain but it’s like a mirror. Because it exists out there, it exists in here.. and in here it is always accessible. To use my eyes, mind, and energy to “look” for god, to understand god without truly being present enough in my body led me astray in many ways and distracted me from this gentle truth- that the only place to truly search for God is within one’s self.

I have always said that it’s felt like I have a guiding hand through life. Like grace is quite literally guiding me. I feel that I am truly looking within myself for the first time.. not looking at my mind, not “my story”, but something else. Something that has poked its head up in my life many of times. One that I didn’t recognize as myself.. or God.

This peace/presence/awareness sense bubbles up so naturally and I burst with heart insights, with words, and flow and felt understanding. I speak from a place of truth and stillness when I speak/journal to myself while trapping into this felt sense of familiar peace.

I feel I’ve only even scratched the surface when explaining, I don’t even really feel like I’ve explained anything at all.

I feel as though I am just starting to truly go inward for the first time. Maybe that’s all that’s really happening.. maybe I have never truly went inward because I’ve been fearful, but what a magical realization it is to go inward and see the familiar face of peace that has been there throughout your entire life and realize that that is YOU.

:)