Snakes are every bit as cute as cats and dogs

I rescued both a puppy and a juvenile garter snake from the road and both of them attacked me. The puppy was a Great Dane that we were fostering, and it felt like a goddamn hornet sting; initially not very painful somehow, but bled and itched like a motherfucker. The garter snake; however, bit me and couldn't break the skin. It tickled.

I totally understand why someone who can't tell the highly venomous snakes from the harmless ones would be afraid of snakes in general, which is why I believe that everyone should do their part to learn to identify the snakes that live in their local ecosystem to save themselves unnecessary fear in the event of a harmless noodle encounter. You might find yourself in a situation like me where you need to know what kind of snake you're dealing with and whether or not you should approach the snake or run like hell.

Despite the fact that many snakes can kill you, the animal that I interacted with was a little baby noodle, and its first line of defense is to tickle me. Come on, people. You can't tell me that's not the cutest thing ever. Puppy bites hurt. Kitten scratches hurt. Hamster bites hurt worse than both of those things combined somehow; but baby snake bites are the most underwhelming force you will ever be faced head on with, and it makes them precious. I am not saying that cats and dogs are less cute. I am just saying that snakes ought to be held in the same regard as cats, dogs and other cute animals. They serve an important role in our ecosystem, and people kill them for no reason. A human being attacked by a non venomous Garter snake is the real life equivalent of Pikachu trying to use Thunderbolt on a Ground type Pokemon. Nobody has ever died, and unless it's a larger than average Garter, it won't even hurt. You are a massive iron titan to these harmless creatures who can wish you all the ill will in the world but will never harm you in any capacity, though most of them won't.

And as an addendum, I refuse to believe that snakes don't feel love, and I think that they are adorable in part due to me believing that they can. I've seen videos of small children interacting with their pet Burmese and Reticulated pythons, and these children are the perfect size for a snack for these animals; yet they slither on and let these children caress them and interact with them almost like loyal dogs that would never have a passing thought of harming their owner. I don't think people understand how powerful these large snakes are and how they can essentially choose whether or not they want their prey to die by blood loss or asphyxiation; be it an alligator, a pig, or a grown man. That's what makes the big snakes cute. You are exponentially more likely to get killed by a large dog like a Mastiff or Cane Corso than you are a reticulated python despite the both underrated and overwhelming power of the snake. They are so non-violent as a general rule. Most of the time in the wild, they just let you pick them up despite the fact that they can make you look like you got attacked by a hacksaw and easily strangle the life out of you. I got to hold one at a fair as a child, and he had so much respect for me and the fact that I was below him on the food chain. I love snakes.