Waiting and growing older.

The days go by, I work, I make money, I pay fees, I go to group, and I run on autopilot. I don't have the drive to start up relationships because I know I cannot handle telling someone my offense, hell I haven't even told my own brothers. I just can't do it, nor do I want to. I'm in my late 20's, I've never dated, I live with my folks because I can't afford to move out. I'm in a hell of my own making, I cannot complain because I'm the one who shot myself in the foot, my mind has too many emotions and feelings to dissect. I keep pretending there is some sort of better life waiting for me at the end of this. But to tell you the truth I don't even know if I'll make it to the end of all this. I'm just a empty husk running on a computer like script. I'm in therapy outside of treatment, im trying things to better myself and I continue to do that everyday. But the fact of the matter is that 75 percent of the world will see you as your sex offense, you cannot be anything else, that's what you are. No amount of Therapy will fix the lable that has been stapled to me by myself and the law. I just keep avoiding people from my past and stay on the down low. I pray to god to give me an answer to why I turned out how I did, why I did the things I did, but I never get an answer. As hard as a force myself every day of my life to see a positive future, I just can't. The best I can really do is remain nuetral, I just don't really know anymore I just let the wind carry me and blow me around through life.