I’m a volunteer leader with my church’s youth group and its a very affirming church. I’m also a trans man. We recently went around the group (12 youth and 3 volunteers) and said our names and pronouns as a way to get more familiar with one another as this was a large group for us with several new friends. There were a lot more non-cis (i.e. genderqueer?) kids than I expected, with four or five I believe using multiple pronouns (she/them, she/he, any, any but she/her, etc.). So now I’m wondering what I can do to support them, and I’m feeling a bit lost since my egg didn’t crack until I was a bit older so I never experienced youth group as a trans teen (not to mention the churches I went to as a kid were NOT affirming so I want this to be as far from those experienced as possible). 

I’m thinking about getting these name tag stickers that have a space for pronouns. And also perhaps planning some kind of pride event for June. What else can I be doing to make this a particular affirming environment for youth to explore and be comfortable in their identities?

I’m also not sure how to deal with the parental aspect of things. Most families seem very affirming as that is on par with the church overall, but there is one dad who I’m worried about because I’ve been told that he misgenders me when referring to me, so I’m sure he’s not super on board with 2 out of his 3 kids being non-cisgender and one introducing themself with a chosen name different than their gov name. And I did end up in a situation this week where I had to talk to this dad about his kid, and I started out using they/them and their chosen name but he seemed like he didn’t know who I was talking about so I ended up reverting to gov name and AGAB-aligned pronouns and it kind of made me sick to my stomach. But at the same time I don’t want to risk outing a kid in a potentially dangerous situation!

Does anyone have tips for leading an affirming youth group?