used ai to masturbate to people i know. i deserve hell.

i don’t even know where to start.

i’m extremely sexually attracted to a few people in my life, all of whom are close friends who i share many great memories with. my friendship with them is deep and emotional and built on trust, and that’s exactly why what i did is so horrible.

a couple months ago i realised i could create nude images of my friends and I didn’t even hesitate. i spent weeks using it as material to masturbate. I felt like it crossed a line, so i stopped, but i picked it up again recently. I used ai to change their clothes into revealing things (swimsuits, large cleavage, etc.)

a while ago one of my friends randomly began to ghost me on Instagram. we had a mild disagreement the day before and I assumed i got on their nerves so i reassured them i meant well, but ive been left on seen/delivered for almost 2 weeks.

i’m just terrified that somehow the images i generated were stored somewhere on the internet and they found them and traced them back to me. i feel so filthy and depraved and i deserve the worst. i can’t even imagine what would happen if my other friends and family were to find out.

it sucks so much. i wish I wasn’t so sexually attracted to the people i simultaneously care about the most. accepting that im a porn addict has been a journey and I don’t know what to do.

I feel like such a traitor and so two faced. I don’t even want to come clean because it would just u necessarily fuck up their lives as well. im taking this to my grave but i just need someone to know i wish i could take it all back.