Looking for support

I’m feeling immense guilt over the decision I made to euthanize my 10yo precious beagle boy last week due to hemangiosarcoma. He was fine, perfectly healthy, and then was acting weird, lethargic, gums were white, panting, and unable to go down stairs. When I put him on the main floor after getting down the stairs, he collapsed. I rushed him to the ER vet and she told me it was most likely hemangiosarcoma and that a tumor that was on his spleen had ruptured and he was internally bleeding.

I had never heard of this word or cancer, and I was completely in shock. She gave the grim options of surgery or euthanasia. After deep consideration I thought that euthanasia would be better. She said she’s not supposed to give her opinion but that she agreed with my choice. She said he seemed to weak to live through the surgery and blood transfusion that he would need. She also said that she thinks he passed away before the final injection was given and just slipped away after receiving the anaesthia for euthanasia.

Since the surgery, I’ve joined a few HSA groups, and I feel that I made the wrong choice. There’s no way to know what would have happened if I chose surgery, but it’s so hard to find peace with this.