34, moved away to reinvent myself… but now I feel completely alone.

I’m 34 and I’ve never had a real girlfriend. I think pretty highly of myself, but I also deal with insecurity. Growing up, I always had a lot of friends even though I’ve always been a bit of a loner. Now it feels like I don’t really have anyone.

About five years ago, I made a big decision to leave my hometown and move to a new city where I didn’t know anyone. I felt like I was drowning where I was, so I needed a complete reset. In a lot of ways, it helped. My mental state improved, and I’ve grown a lot as a person, even spiritually.

But socially, I feel stuck.

I haven’t really found my “tribe” here. I’m still mostly alone. I enjoy my own space, but it’s starting to feel like I’m not living up to my full potential. There’s this fear of stepping into who I could be, and also worrying about what people especially from my past would think of who I’ve become.

Sometimes I also feel like I ran away from my past instead of fully dealing with it, and that feeling comes back to haunt me. It’s like a part of me is holding back from becoming the best version of myself because of that. Almost like I’m getting in my own way.

I recently went back home and it hit me hard: I used to have a ton of friends, and now I feel like I have none. That realization kind of sucks.

When I talk to people about what I do, I can feel my insecurities come up. Even so, I still push through and keep going, even when I’m uncomfortable.

I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar—feeling like you’ve grown a lot internally, but your external life (especially socially) hasn’t caught up yet, or feeling like your past is still holding you back.