Laid my dog to rest yesterday

22 years for me and my guy Lee. After my mother passed my dad got me him. He's been with me through everything.

I can't talk to anyone. Jack Russell terrier. So smart and small. He lit up my world and I love him. Seeing him so peaceful when they laid him to rest made me so happy and hurt me so bad cause he passed instantly so he was so very ready to go and I don't know why but i feel so guilty because if he was in so much paid why why didn't i know?

I have his collar and the vet said she'd give me a certificate with his paw and nose print. I have the last blanket I bought him. I'm gonna get all of that framed and put it next to my mom's stuff.

I'm so happy to have had him for so long, but now the house is so quiet and I'm heartbroken.

I just wanted to vent a bit. Now here comes my hysterical tears again.